The Pandemic Pushes Couples’ Relationships Toward Harmony

The Covid-19 pandemic, which has lasted more than 1.5 years, has had an influence on married couples’ intimacy. The difficulty of intimacy is usually faced by couples who have been married for five, ten, or even more than twenty years. “With the current pandemic, the problem of intimacy in marital relations, which is usually experienced by married couples with a relatively long marriage age, can now occur in couples whose marriage age has only been between two to three years. In fact, there are also couples who have just married, and then experience problems with the estrangement of husband and wife,” said Zoya Amirin, a psychologist who studies sexology.

Zoya, who also practices a sexology clinic with an agreement at the Dermalounge Aesthetic and Skin Care Clinic, South Jakarta, said that the pandemic could be accused of being the cause of the estrangement in husband and wife relationships. Why?

“Because the problem of estrangement in the harmony of husband and wife relationships frequently occurs before the pandemic,” says the author. For example, there is a problem in the house that isn’t really serious. However, due of the pandemic’s stress, minor problems in the home turned out to have the capacity to frequently generate quarrels (disagreements) between husband and wife relationships. In the end, many couples’ troubles lead to divorce,” Zoya, who is frequently a sex-positive advocate for clients, added.

The Greatest Number of Sexual Dysfunction Cases

Furthermore, according to Zoya, who just celebrated her birthday this month, the issues that her clients frequently complain about revolve primarily around sexual dysfunction, whether experienced by men that affects their relationship with their wives, or women or wives who ultimately affect sexual relations with their husbands, even though she has never counted it as data through a survey.

“For example, if a woman or her wife has vaginismus, which is muscle stiffness in the vaginal walls that cannot be managed by women and prevents vaginal penetration. If a guy suffers from erectile dysfunction, in which his vital organs are unable to achieve or sustain an erection, then keeping the husband-wife relationship’s harmony becomes a challenge.

Furthermore, when it is combined with other issues outside of sexual connections, such as the effects of economic difficulties experienced during the epidemic, it can cause stress in a couple’s relationship’s intimacy.

As a result, counseling or consulting is required, which necessitates mutual participation between husband and wife. Because things like this are crucial in resolving the issue of sexual incompatibility between husband and wife.

Because, in addition to counseling, Zoya explained, there is treatment and a slew of homework that the couple must complete, which is also determined by their ability to work together to complete their assignment. If both the husband and the wife are attentive in doing their research, counseling can usually continue as a series of issue-solving processes, with some cases even extending at later stages of problem therapy. As a result, it’s impossible to say how long the treatment procedure (therapy and counseling) will take because there are so many various instances and therapies, as well as stages that must be completed continuously.”

Zoya went on to say that he frequently collaborates with a team of doctors to solve client situations in stages. “As in the case of women with vaginismus, whose vagina cannot penetrate because it hardens like a wall during the penetration process.

I collaborate with obstetricians and gynecologists (doctors who specialize in women’s reproductive health). Meanwhile, males with erectile dysfunction should see an andrologist, a doctor who specializes in men’s health, including reproductive issues and the male urinary system.

When asked what form of therapy is given to the patient, there is no general solution, considering that everyone is unique, therefore everyone must also proceed. In essence, the solution for them is to use therapy and counseling that are tailored to the case and the type of problem they are facing,” he explained.

He gave an example of a number of therapies used, including Survey Focus Therapy or Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT), and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), with different clients and different cases they face. As for the form of homework that needs to be done with couples, such as romantic rituals, and this is different for each client, because each person has a different treatment.

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